What Is He Communicating When He’s Not Talking?



I hear this a lot from women. When their men aren’t talking, not sharing their feelings, they get curious and sometimes they get concerned.

In this video I discuss with Dr. Matt what we’re thinking and communicating in a relationship when we’re not talking.

Dr. Matt and I can’t read every man’s mind so we don’t discuss the content of what each individual man might be thinking at any particular time.

Instead Dr. Matt talks about how to educate people- in this case women educating their men- on how to communicate their feelings to them.

Everything starts with rapport. People need to feel safe before they verbally communicate their feelings to someone. We all fear being judged when we consider sharing something personal.

Quite honestly, speaking from experience and observation, men often don’t feel safe communicating their feelings even to their girlfriends or their wifes.

In NLP we say that you cannot not influence and when you want a different response from someone you have to change your communication. We often get trapped in demanding something from another person whether material or conceptual.

We demand a good paying job because we completed college. We demand that people respect us. We demand that someone we’re in an intimate relationship with shares their feelings with us.

Demanding rarely works. Change your communication, in other words stop demanding, and you will likely receive a different response.

Be flexible and keep changing your communication until you get the response you want.

Dr. Matt is coming to California in November. I will be hosting him November 4th in Santa Cruz where he will give a series of talks throughout the day.

The topics will be Time Management, Personal Branding, and Sales: The Most Important Skill For Your Future.

Put it on your calendar! This is the first announcement. You’re getting it first! I don’t even have the venue booked yet, but we’re doing it and it’s going to happen.

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